I have always hated tights, not that I’ve worn them – I just despise the sight of them.The last girl I dated was always in tights – ALWAYS. No denim, no dresses, no skirts, no nothing – just tights. Plain and simple – leggings.
Tights. They’re just so very… very… er… tight. So body hugging and so freaking tight. Why are they so clingy? Why do they need to eat up all your space in the nether lands? Why are they so bloody needy; almost insecure? Why is there no space?
Where is my space?
The thing is now I’m cold. This sham of a city, Chandigarh, is moving closer to the arctic circle with every bloody day, with every bloody globally warmed iceberg.
For crying out loud - we are supposed to be a tropical nation, not Eskimo zone dammit!
So it’s freezing and I realized that everything southwards of my waist – ass, feet, knees, vagina – are becoming colder than Russia. To prevent any further posterior frigidity, someone recommended Thermal Underwear – Thermal Long Johns to be precise.
My momma always said, “Life is like a box of knickers. If they look like tights, feel like tights, stretch like tights, then they’re not damned Long Johns you fool – they’re tights.”
But oh bloody God – they’re so, they’re so, so, soooooooh… comforting.
They’re so accommodating, all encompassing, and warm and do everything to make you feel so very secure.
They just give and give and give and give.
It’s like their second nature.
They’re like Mother Nature – there is so much give.
So kids, I don't know how I met your mother, but when in doubt - wear tights.
P.S. Superman, Hulk Hogan, Robin Hood – thank you!
23 comments:
What's happening with this country ?
Thermal wear in 10 deg C and Sweaters in 24 deg C in Chennai. Disapprove
Btw, What space were you expecting in a woman's tights ?
howlarious...
and u like tights :-D
@Raj: Its 5 degrees here. I have the right to complain.
I shall not answer the next question as this is a family blog.
@kamu: I never said that in those many words :P
@shruthi: You're dissing my post, I can't diss leggings aa?
Since when are facts so important now? And, your mum is not the Geography teacher okay!
Thought your experiences abroad to colder places might have helped. I think you should head to Europe for a change
OMG, from when did this turn into a family blog ? Sigh!
Must be the continental drift thing. Get some fellow whiners and push. Breathe. Push. You and Chandigarh will be back to tropical zone.
we'll see if we can sign online petitions and get you a padma award. If not, all that pushing should at least keep you warm.
"everything southwards of my waist – ass, feet, knees, vagina.."
?? :-P
Smartass I have only three things to say this time around -
1. I hate this post. Its not even you. Who wrote this?
2. The picture is pathetic. What is wrong with you?
3. Are you gay? TIGHTS?
Notgogol's got himself his first pair of mantyhose! Woot!
Aaahhh...be happy the women wear them more than the men...now picture a nice rolly polly guy with flab hanging all over and with thighs as big as a water melon wearing spandex...now which wud u rather hv? Women in tights or men?
But hv to agree with you...why wud anyone want to wear something so restrictive? N clingy? Then women say men just ogle and stare...little do they realize what's going thru r heads.."uhmmm wat is she wearing?"
@Raj: Always was a family blog man! :|
@smartassbride: Stop mocking me woman! It's really cold as it is.
@Shruthi: That argument was school kid level lady! Not cool.
@howcanubesomanythingsatonce: True Fact! :P
@anu:
1. Ok. Even divinity has limits you know :P
2. Chandigarh
3. Perhaps. I'm not sure.
@BB: As said, Mantyhose it seems! :P
@Terror#1: Lol. Good take. But what if the said fat person is female not male. Same difference then na.
And, the point I was making is that these goddamed tights are so comfortable, I'm sold :|
"Mantyhose" was a good one.
:P
*Doffing feathered cap*
NG Check this out :P
There is such a thing as over-sharing and you just crossed the line. No Christmas present for you.
And oh, there is no Santa Claus either, you tights-wearing little girl!
GO, go cry to mommy now. And tell her about the tights.
Stop stealing my thunder BB!
JB: Just for my information, what was my Christmas present?
Told mommy about the tightness. She's thrilled; she always wanted a gay son no.
*Basking in reflected glory*
What you gonna do? Whack me with your tights? :P
Hahahahahha. Look who got a follower gadget after all that I-don't-give-a-shit-who-reads-and-doesn't-read talk :P
@BB: Yeah. Good idea, no? But bangalore is too far re. Nahin pahunchega - tights wahin tak failaane chahiye, jitne ki pair lambe hon :P
@Prudy: That does not answer my question. What was supposedly my Christmas present? (Now that you have money and all, can't use poverty excuse anymore)
Well, it was a Follower widget. But seeing how you already have one in place... :|
i will have to agree with judy... i knw u dnt care who reads ur blog and that follower gadget thingy really looks hideous.... clutters up the whole page... i thnk u can do without it
JB: I am at a loss for words at your divine cheapness.
Kamu: You're right. Deleted it :) I always thought installing it was a complicated thing but it was just a mouse click.
Also, now I know how people (read JB) snoop around on people and know who comments from where. This stats page tells me that 236 people visited my page from the US last week. Problem is I don't know who these people are? WHO ARE YOU AMERICANS reading this page?
Also, what I don't understand is - how you think that a small thingamajig like that can make the page look cluttered? :P
JB's followers in US? :)
I think Kamna was speaking prophetically - it clutters up your whole page in about a few thousand years :O)
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